Cleveland Browns.

...and today's game was almost another example of what's it's like to be a Cleveland fan.

We're leading most of the game, but then Cleveland fucks it up in the 4th quarter, like always. They were a field goal away from losing. But today, miraculously!, they manage to bring it back together and actually win! 26-24. Take that, Green Bay. You guys lost to the Browns. That's pretty pathetic, dudes.

Cleveland sports teams are "well known for agonizing collapses." I got so sick of whiny Boston fans last season (even though I wanted them to win because I never want the Yankees to win, the fuckers), when they were in the World Series and we were all supposed to root for them because they had suffered for so long. Wha wha. Boston fans know nothing about sport's heartache compared to us long-suffering Cleveland fans. Which city has gone the longest without a championship? Certainly not Boston. The Patriots had won the Super Bowl in 2001, 2003, and then again last year (after the Red Sox also won the World Series). So Boston can take their "woe is me" act and shove it up their ass, because the last time Cleveland saw a championship was in 1964. We've gone longer than any other city. ESPN, at least, recognizes us as the most tortured sports city. What an honor.

Even the announcers of today's game, with 4 seconds left and Cleveland about to receive, still thought Green Bay could come back and win. That's how sad our teams are.

So the Browns won today and the Indians are currently winning the Wild Card by half a game, but I'm not holding my breath. The Browns won their first game of the season last year and we all thought it'd be a good year, until the second game came around and we realized the torture will never end! So I will not be setting myself up for heartache again, but I'm certainly going to enjoy this win. If the only other team we beat this year is the Steelers (please, God!), I'll consider it a good year.

!